A day in the life of me

Thursday, May 06, 2010

marriage

I am in a zone, standing ontop of my soapbox per say. I must type this all down as I feel it, or else Ill forget half of what Im saying. This can all one day be in the epic biography of my life someday, who knows. But I know that I as an individual stand apart from many others. I am the rare breed, the exception to the rules, the person who is unlike others. I take a lot of pride in that, why be a follower, why just accept what is and go with it? Why not challenge? Why not test the limits. Life should be limitless, everything should not be impossible. As I say this I enjoy every experience I am given because it all helps me grow as a person, very mentally. I must start typing more of this out, because I am certain that not many will feel this way.

The more I talk to John the more I realize more about myself, this secret layer underneath the tip of the iceberg that is my life. Yes, I love to be passionate, yes I love to love, and of course I feel that there is that one person out there that I will love and only love him. In the meantime, I must explore all possibilities, I may never know where this guy is. This is not even saying that I may not fall out of love with him, our lives take us to different places that we cant predict. The only thing that we can do is live in the moment, if you are not living in the moment with who you are with, then take it for what it is and find someone who you can live in the moment with. You are selling yourself short if you continue to live your life with someone who doesnt make you happy anymore. People change and its very hard to be the same person you were years before. Accept it, we will all keep growing until we die. Our minds dont stop thinking and our bodies are still changing as we get older. Its good to love a lot.

During this decade, marriage is growing out of style, with the divorce rate being the way that it is, its a clear sign that the pressure of marriage is something that people cant handle, it takes all the fun out of a couple. There are no rules that say you have to get married, marriage is a brainwash that people are fed, the help the economy, to serve as a guidline for people who can't create their own path. If the feelings are strong and the bind cant be broken, why ruin it with a piece of jewerly and a signed piece of paper. It allows for people to become so dependant on the other that they lose their sense of self. They get so comfortable thinking the other will just accept less sex and a pattern of daily that they lose everything that brought them together in the first place. A couples romance should always be the way it was when they first met, until the day they die.

I love my parents and their marriage is what many books are written off of. But in the real world, it doesnt come as naturally, its a miracle if a couple can sustain the same love for each other. You must always keep taking the chance if you are not satisfied with what you have. You can't have the fear or worry that the other person will never find someone else. That person will ALWAYS find someone else, even if they say they cant. There are too many people in the world for someone to be alone. If they are alone, it means they are too lazy to try. Who wants to be with a lazy person? Perhaps another lazy person, but in a sense, they are meant for each other.

Im old school when it comes to love, but the whole commitment of a marriage is robbery of people's identities in my opinion. I always wondered why I was the one girl out of the bunch not to have my whole wedding figured out when i was 5 and now at almost 25, it makes a lot of sense why. I was always meant to love without the pressure of a title, and hoped to find someone who felt the same way. Together we can be happy with just each other, without society telling us what to do with the unconditional love we have for each other.